If whatever that I say is wrong, gonna be wrong, always wrong… then why do I bother to even open my mouth in the first place? I thought that by keeping mum about things I’m only hiding, not trying to make things better. But it seems like my words and actions only bring more hurt than joy. Subconsciously I keep a distance from you and say less. One day I may not say anything at all. But will that make us more happy? Will you be happier? So which is best? Speak and swallow the pain (for how long?), or to be quiet and build a wall around me for protection? I really don’t know anymore. Either way hurts.
(Playing: Wreck of the Day by Anna Nalick)
not speaking means swallowing pain, yes sometimes…but not always building a wall around.. whether or not the wall is built, is totally up to ourselves. it’s like harden your heart? or harden your heart not? it is the state you choose to be in. though subconsciously, things will start to grow differently… it is part and parcel of life. nothing and no one can really tell you what is best. no one knows. maybe only God knows. what people think or say they know, is just what they “think.” the “truth” is no one knows best except yourself, deep deep inside. So dig, and find it. Learn it, then live it. I’m speaking as if i “know”, but then again i “think” i “know” and i most probably might not really know at all… so the cycle goes round and round. life is a beautiful mystery…
yeah, “beautiful” when u’re in high spirits. “messed up” when u’re in the dumps. im taking a break. too much in the head lately. dont remind me for a while how certain things suck all the time… sometimes, ignorance is truly bliss.